First walk in centuries! These people never take me out these days!
The moment they picked up the leads I knew it – the days of oppression are over! First thing out the gate – sniff the other side of it. Haven’t smelt (smelled?) that cubic centimetre in forever. SO many things have happened out there, a full metre out of my reach, since the Final Return of the Humans. We’ve missed so much during the Eternal Presence of Humans.
Dragged the Holder of the Lead across the street to show him the amazing stories of the lamp post. He was so grateful that he played some extra tug-of-war with the lead, although I admit it was an unfair win for me since I was not actually holding onto it.
Demonstrated my amazing unrivallable pavement-breaststroke. It’s not my fault I completely accidentally did so in the direction of a previously unnoticed long-dead bird. Was totally just showing how low I can get to the ground while spreading legs apart and launching my body forward with said legs, can’t think why they think I was pulling. Oooh, that bird smelled good…
Lots of other dogs on the street, and also even more people – mostly wearing bits of material on their faces. Not that I care about them when that fat Boerboel is insulting me like he does. He breathes so disrespectfully. For some reason the Oppressors won’t ever let me show him who’s boss. Or even say hello to the Border Collies at the corner. Or have a quick snack. Apparently it will make the Grumpy Lady angry if I eat her brain dead tiny little yappers. Apparently the fluff will get stuck in my teeth.
Only went round the block. Chloë was ‘too interested in all the smells’ to move far so we didn’t. The Cruel Restrainers ordered me to re-cross the border into my territory, leave the tiny little rude yappers alone. They said, come on, we’ll give you a second-best breakfast instead. Come, said the Much-Adored Worshipful Givers of Food.
The first walk of Stage 4 lockdown, after five weeks of Stage 5, RSA