Arggg! Only 24ish days to Christmas! Which means, inevitably, The Costume. There are good things and there are bad things about this time of year, the worst of which is certainly The Costume.
There will be lots of Humans on the day, out of which I can Cute some food. There will be wrapped presents to gnaw, and later there will be wrapping paper to eat. There will be a Tree to sleep under, and there will be decorations on the Tree to eat. My favourites are those matt glittery red balls and the tiny polystyrene gifts on strings.
My Christmas List this year only involves lots of people dropping Lamb and Bird on the floor, preferably whole and with the Feathers or Fur or whatever it is still on. Possibly still moving, but very slowly.
This is likely to happen, although based on the Evidence, there will be no Feathers. There will also be lots of Tickles.
There will be The Costume.
It has been around for two Christmases already. It is supposed to make me look like a Weird Elf: Pointed Hat, Fluffy Green Jacket.
I can smell Marshall laughing when I wear it. Sometimes Our Humans put it on me a few times before The Day, and sometimes also on New Year’s.
I never resist, since these are the Humans who feed me and let me sleep on ‘their’ Beanbags and it Won’t Do to show Ingratitude. But this year, I will find The Costume long before it occurs to them to apply It. I will gnaw on it and sleep on it and play Tug-of-War with it and Marshall and I will bury it by the Compost Bins. They will not get me this year!
Although, if they have Bird…
– Chloë the Basset Hound